[Guest Post on Untemplater]: Finding Community Intentionally

I am pleased to share with everyone that my first post was published in the Untemplater website today. Untemplater is a work/life style site that shares stories of those who are pursuing unconventional ventures or trying to live a life less ordinary. Personally, I think that can be accomplished by cross dressing at least once per week but the folks at Untemplater have some other ideas, too.

My post is about the juxtaposition between traditional and digital community development and the professional and social paradigms that exist between the two. Or in other words, it's about how I spent 6 months working in a commune and might have never left if I hadn't applied to graduate school beforehand.

If you are interested in reading more, check out my post entitled "Finding Community Intentionally."

Or if you just want to read it below, here is the post:

There are many studies about the importance of a belonging to a community for our general well-being. The value of it hasn't changed but the definition of community is evolving from neighborhoods that hold block parties and church groups to on-line communities that bond around common interests, activities, or fetishes. I found my on-line community at the Business Week Message Boards from 2003-2005 where I made on-line friends, on-line friends that I met in the real world, even found part-time work, and made lots of jokes about how I work with nuns.

As the notion of on-line community has grown, the Community Manager has appeared as a new profession in the field of social media. Decades ago, these folks' best alternative would probably have been cruise ship social directors but now they have a digital calling. While this new notion of community is growing, the old notion of community is still going strong with a little rebranding. This old notion that I am referring to is the commune movement which is still strong and has diversified. Now marketed as intentional communities, it is described on their web directory as:

Intentional community is an inclusive term for ecovillages, cohousing communities, residential land trusts, student co-ops, urban housing, intentional living, alternative communities, cooperative living, and other projects where people strive together with a common vision.

One does not have to leave mainstream society or even move to find an intentional community. While most on-line community managers have only a few years of experience with digital community-building, there is decades of experience, experimentation (lots of experimentation), and culture within the intentional community world. Intentional communities have adopted the digital tools as their directory is on-line and group message boards allow community alumni members to keep in touch. In other words, there are all the tools of the on-line communities in addition to connections based on sharing housing, food, a way of life, or an idea.

One of the classic intentional communities that I've visited is called Twin Oaks, located in rural Virginia. The community supports itself by selling vegetables, tofu, and making really high quality hammocks. I almost abandoned my grad school plans after visiting due a sense of fulfillment that I felt from its members. The community meets Maslow's needs from housing and income to friends and conversation to time and resources to pursue hobbies with moments of self-actualization (like I said, lots of experimentation). The communal lifestyle is not for everyone as members told me stories about how the decision to purchase coffee turned into the most divisive issue since this August's Health Care ReformTown Halls. Half the community thought coffee is an addictive drug and didn't want funds to support the industry while the other half of the community really, really wanted and needed that addictive drug.

Twin Oaks represents the more traditional concept of intentional community. However, for those who resonate with the communal concept but not necessarily the intense debates about their choice of beverage, there are other options in the Intentional Community directory. Communities are forming around the desire for green housing and living as sustainably as possible. There are communities for those who want to dedicate free time to promoting multiculturalism. There are also always communities built around shared meals and shared bulk food purchasing. Food is actually the original community organizer even predating Barak Obama.

My personal story with intentional communities involved 6 months working and living at Innisfree Village outside of Charlottesville, Virginia. I had completed my grad school applications, had 6 months before I started school, no lease, no debts, and no dependents. In other words, it was the perfect opportunity to do something that I would never have the chance to do again. Prior to working on grad school application, I spent 2 nomadic years in South America as a Peace Corps Volunteer so I was looking for something where I could consistently sleep in the same bed.

Located near the foothills of the Blue Ridge mountains, Innisfree (named after the Yeats poem), was created by parents of children with developmental disabilities who were not happy with the existing residential options. Taking advantage of the community movement of the 70's, they created Innisfree where community members would take care of their children and run the community in exchange for a small stipend and option to follow the lifestyle that they wanted to. All members work in the weaving shop, garden, kitchen, wood shop, or do farm work.

My sense of fulfillment came from an international community membership where I heard great Irish accents and lots of German. I worked with the community director to write a successful Americorp grant and learned how to use a pottery wheel and kiln. My typical day was spent gardening, cooking, or using power tools in the wood shop. I met a girl. If I hadn't filled out those grad school applications before coming to Innisfree, I might still be there.

Next time you think about leaving the commute, your job where you create spreadsheets and power point instead of bread and roses, and entertainment options that always seem to involve a screen or monitor, remember that you are not alone. There's probably an intentional community nearby.

A Blog comment should make you want to say FU not Thank You

I recently found a post on Sam Huleatt's blog about how blog comments are the new black. As we know, I'm always looking for the next black and I truly love a good charcoal. Before I digress more, this linked post talks about how we have many ways to engage and connect with someone online but a comment on someone's blog is the best way to begin building a relationship. There is a community around blogs and the comments are the gateway for that community to connect with each other and build offline relationships.

Social media is all about creating dialogue and blog comments have been declared to be the most meaningful. Not all blog comments are created equal just like not all dialogue leads to meaningful relationships. Today's health care summit is a fine example of dialogue not creating any meaningful sense let alone improved relationships. A good blog comment can introduce a new idea to a post, push the author on a particular point, elaborate on an example, or demonstrate that you share a similar background or values with the author that will lead to greater connection.

There are also blog comment that do not further the conversation is the equivalent of a "Like" in Facebook. On the other spectrum, there are comments on entertainment blogs for example whose contribution to a Miley Cyrus article about her sleepovers are to ask if she is a raging lesbian slut or merely a huge lesbian slut (apologies to anyone who found this via Google while searching for Miley Cyrus lesbian slut and are now extremely disappointed).

Digressions aside, I need to offer an apology in advance to readers who previously merely commented that they liked my posts. I appreciate your comments and they made me smile. However, I would rather see a comment to a blog post that made me write a response that started with "FU" rather than "Thank you." I'd rather have my arguments pushed and challenged then just praised. I would rather have to rethink my position then bask in the glow of how right I am.

For blog comments to truly be the new black, they need to create dialogue. Conflict can build relationships because it leads to debates which leads to better understanding of each other. A rich debate with differing view points in the comments section creates a more compelling blog post. There are some blogs where I read the comment section as eagerly as the blog post.

There are also some blog posts where I skip the comment section because there's no additional value or contribution. The Brazen Careerist, a Generation Y career-focused community site and Untemplater, a work/life style blog are some of the biggest sinners. Although I shouldn't bite the website that was kind of enough to feature my posts (Brazen Careerist) or one where I have submitted a post for consideration (Untemplater), I'll keep my straight talk express going. The comments section on these website's blogs is a cascading series of "I like that post so much that I want to marry it." This Untemplator post is an example where the comments section is a huge series of high fives. There is some pushing the topic further but the affirmation after affirmation really makes it look like an echo chamber as opposed to serious dialogue. In a community, not everyone will agree with each other all the time. Neither should blog comments.

One example of a blog where the comments were almost as good as the posts is the Leveraged Sell-Out. The comments were brutal, debates raged, people get their feelings hurt, and it was the best thing on the web. Thank you's were non-existent and FU was one of the milder responses. However, I understanding the investment banking culture more than I ever wanted to because of the comments section. Another good example of a comments section that meets this new black criteria is Penelope Trunk's blog. Generally 1/3 of the comments tell Trunk that she understands their pains, fears, hopes, and dreams better than their family and she is completely right about everything, 1/3 of the comments swear this is the last time that they will ever read anything by Trunk again and that she is the dumbest person on the web, and 1/3 promote their own theories and philosophies. It's taken me a while to appreciate Trunk's blog comments and community because I used to fall pretty solidly in the middle group. Given, that I've turned Trunk's material into 3 posts of my own, I've probably moved into the last group and I have began to realize the brilliance in her marketing.

For any future comments on my blog, may I say FU, may you swear back at me, and let's break bread and have a real dialogue. If I need someone to high five me and give me a hug, I'll go find my 2 year old son rather than write a blog post.